Foyanda

I've been looking for hours
Waiting for some answer
The words never seem To stay
My heArts out of breath
I don't need more space
Just more of your presence

Its nightmare waking up To an empty pillow
remember the shooting star you saw when we first met
I don't think you've seen one ever since
i used To close my eyes and pray
but it all faded with Hate
Hate that grew from pain
pain that kept me going

been looking deeper and deeper
wasn' t really my best
I kept you from running
this most probably the worst Poem
I've kept it by my chest
thinking
waiting
hoping
that maybe you'll appear
answer To my door
but Silence

I had it
I was holding it
Just a moment ago
You thought you undersTood me
My heArt was floating
My heArt was beaming with Joy
Love I thought
This better be Love
Could I ever forgive myself for letting go
All I ever see now is your face
No matter what lady I'm talking To
Her face changes
Voice softens
To the that gentle Tone that used To comfort me
sing me song
talk all night
giggle with me

but it was Too long
way Too long
I once held your hand
never thought my hand could fit so perfectly
it felt like an everlasting connection
I know
I agree
we were young
never thought we'd sTop right there

It happened
i changed inTo a monster
a possessive force that couldn't breath without you call
I hadn't a clue what i was
all you Told me was what I valued
i could never Hate you
unless you turned out To be plotting
planning To...
hoping To..
break my heArt all this time

No you're better than that
i could never thank you enough
but you say you Love me even more
you're fast becoming a drug
a life line
a song I can't get out of my head
You'll never lose out
never close inTo my heArt
but I hope
i dream< br> that maybe

It's pretty long
pretty hard trying To express
my Love To you
but I hope that you will realise
open your eyes
just give me a chance
To lose my ways
and stArt with you
so here's a Poem
hoping you'd read this far
so many words
so little meaning
so much heArt
i've put inTo< /b> this Poem
so please at least laugh when you get To the end
I will always Love you!!

To my better half, Lilian

Might be a big loser but behind all the Suicide attempts I still belive there's a girl i care about beyond reasoning. A girl who's stuck with me through my lows in life. Perfect timing, the only thing perfect in my life. It's my Love for Lily which makes me write my Poems without care.

Author:: Bheki Ndiweni
Keywords:: Poem,Rumbi,Lilian,Bheki,Ndiweni,Suffocate,Suicide,Blood,Love,Hate,Joy,Depression,Art,Chitandawata,To
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